I have a problem. I’m a procrastinator. I’ll put off absolutely anything if I think I can get away with it. 

Unfortunately, that includes my writing, which is why I’m working on this blog right now. Procrastination is just one of the many things keeping me from writing “for real”.

“What are some others?” asks no one.

Well, there’s also my fear of inadequacy. Mix that together with my lack of education, and my complete dearth of professional experience, and you’ve got me. I’m the writer who only writes for herself, and just recently, the internet. The only thing keeping me from being a true starving artist is the generosity of my parents. 

But there’s a positive side to my procrastination as well. If it weren’t for the internet fueling my distraction, I never would have started this little blog. And, believe it or not, this is a huge confidence booster. Every time I see that someone has enjoyed my writing, it gives me the courage to do it again. I find myself here, on my laptop, on this very blog, bearing my soul and my crazy thoughts to the world. It makes me think that maybe I do have some semblance of talent.  And I find myself writing again.

Well, at least until the next time procrastination rears its beautiful head.


Let’s Talk About Class, Taste, and Gender


Posh man: I ain't one Posh man: I ain’t one

Recently, I found myself at a wine-tasting session with a friend, only to be confronted with the embarrassing reality that I had no idea how to act “appropriately” in the situation. The whole thing wasn’t helped by the fact that I was wearing an outfit much like Julia Roberts circa Pretty Woman, as I sometimes care to do (it’s a great look). Trying to “be myself” rather than affect a more refined countenance turned out to be quite the faux pas in terms of the disdainful/pitying/embarrassed looks I got from other patrons. While on the one hand I was rather “f*** you” about it, it also later resulted in me crying into my pillow.

Ladette to Lady: teaching us how not to be working class Ladette to Lady: teaching us how not to be working class

Later, I came across this article about the UK’s Education Secretary Michael Gove, and his comments that

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Just venting (sorry)

I feel like I have to write this. like if I don’t, I’ll just feel even lower than I already do,which, to be honest, is pretty damn low.

I’m 22 years old, I live with my parents, and I’ve never had a job. All of these things combined make me feel like a massive failure. The worst part is, everything I read about “Millennials” confirms this fear. I’ve spoke before about how we’re considered the useless generation, how our parents hate us for having such a low percentage of ourselves in the workforce. But we’ve also lived through a massive economical crisis. A crisis that, in my opinion, is taking too damn long to get better.

The media doesn’t help either. Movies ad television depict kids straight out of college, or even high school, as having full time jobs. In film world, all 20-somethings live on their own, have good jobs, and it’s been that way for a while. Meanwhile, in the real world, more and more people past the age of 20 are living at home. Including myself.

Sure, they say it’s getting better, but I’m not seeing those results. I’m still sitting here, at my parents’ house, writing for a very small readership (but seriously I love you guys, thanks for putting up with my shit). I’ve been looking for work for four years, with practically no results. I’m getting interviews, but they’re so few and far between that I still suck at them. I’ve developed serious anxiety which affects me every day, and I find myself on the brink of tears, for no real reason, on a regular basis.

I know, I’ll probably get a job eventually. But that’s the problem, eventually is not now. Eventually is not where I am at the moment, and I feel myself getting further and further from it with each fleeting second. I feel like a dog on a treadmill, chasing a juicy T-bone tied to the front that I’ll never really catch.

And that’s the problem. I hate not having something to do. I hate being alone with just my thoughts and my anxiety. They are the things that tell me I’ll never get what I want, the things that tell me to just give up; and one of these days, I’m afraid I’m going to listen.



In response to “First world problems”

There has been a particular trend going around on the internet that I despise, and that trend is “First World Problems”. This is run on the idea that people in places like Great Britain and the United States do not have “real” problems. I have to agree that a broken cell phone in no way compares to drought and starvation, but that’s not the idea behind this trend. The idea is to belittle people for their very real problems, and I can’t support that.

I said before that a broken cell phone does not compare to starvation. But a broken cell phone is a genuine problem. it’s not any less real because your not starving, and the complaint is not any less valid. The people who debate on the validity of these problems are hypocrites.

When something of yours is broken, or something has gotten in the way of your plans, what is your first reaction? is it “At least I’m not starving.” or is it “I hate my life.”? It’s more likely that it is the latter. And why is that? its because we get comfortable with our lifestyles, no matter what that is; and when there is a perceived threat to our comfort we react negatively. We lash out, and that is normal, we’re only human. everyone has the right to complain about their problems. No one has a monopoly over what is an “appropriate” problem valid of complaint.

“First World Problems” is just another way of justifying guilt.

It’s not “unsanitary.” Period.

Queer Guess Code


Aside from important dates and information, the most common topics covered at the residence hall meetings I’ve attended in college so far have been about cleaning up after ourselves in the kitchens and bathrooms. Most especially—cleaning up after our periods. Every bathroom stall boasts a flyer begging, “Ladies, don’t forget to wrap your personals!” God forbid.

Is this surprising to anyone? We set a standard of privacy around menstrual blood in shared spaces, because it’s a matter of health and safety that one not touch another person’s bodily fluids, in order to avoid spreading bacteria or viruses between bodies. However, when I think about the number of people I know who squirm at the thought of using a menstrual cup because it requires getting their own blood on their hands, I remember that the shame and secrecy about menstrual blood in our culture goes wayyy beyond simple health and safety…

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Why does the internet hate “Man of Steel”?

Man of Steel came out nearly a year ago. I’d like to remind everyone of that before you pile hate on me. Warning: Major spoilers ahead.

Now, to the point, I saw this film on opening day, in 3D, what’s my verdict?

I loved it.

In my opinion, Man of Steel was the best superman film since Superman II. Why? For the first time, I felt like he was a relatable character. He felt like someone who had been ostracized by his peers his entire life, like he couldn’t relate to to any of the people around him. And that’s exactly the way he should feel.

Superman is an alien (sorry for the spoilers), so he should feel alien. He shouldn’t be instantly accepted by society as a hero, because that just wouldn’t happen. If you saw a news story about a super-strong man with X-Ray vision, flying around your city in blue underwear and a red cape, you wouldn’t be excited about it. No one would be excited about it, especially not if someone demanded his head in exchange for the safety of your planet.

But I’m getting slightly off topic. I came out of Man of Steel being pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. imagine my surprise when the first review I read tore the film a new asshole (for lack of a better phrase).  Most of the complaints came from the different interpretation of a few main characters, like Superman and Jonathan Kent, but mostly Pa Kent.

Jonathan Kent, in the comics and many (many) adaptations. Served as a voice of reason for Clark. He fit this role in Man of Steel as well, but more as a father who wasn’t sure how to raise a son so radically different from himself. I liked this interpretation because he didn’t sound like a platitude spewing robot, like in many adaptions in the past. A perfect example is when Clark, as a child, saves his classmates fro drowning in a schoolbus using his super strength. Kent confronts his son, telling him its something he shouldn’t have done, but quickly backpedals when Clark asks him if the kids should have died. This is a major scene in the film, and one that is disliked by most critics. But, really, what is he supposed to say: “Good job on potentially blowing the cover you’ve maintained for your safety, Clark!”?

I don’t think so. Instead, he tells Clark that maybe it was the right decision to save his classmates, but he’s also exposed himself as different, more different than his classmates already thought he was. This makes his decision later in the film, at his death, well within his character. He knows the world isn’t ready for Superman, and he’s right. The first thing the military does to Clark is put him in handcuffs.

The second thing that is most criticized about the film is Clark killing Zod. We’re talking about a man who held an entire planet hostage in the pursuit of one man. Zod was planning on turning earth into Krypton on top of the corpses of his human victims. This is a man who made it clear that if Earth wasn’t going, he was.  Clark actually actively avoided  killing Zod for most of the film. it wasn’t until he was faced with an ultimatum that he finally resorted to killing the only remainder of his entire species. Critics act like this is an out of character decision for Clark, claiming that Superman doesn’t kill. But he most certainly does. Superman killed Zod at least three times in the comics. But again, not the point.

Man of Steel introduces us to Superman essentially before he was Superman, and thus with none of the preexisting “rules” that Superman comes with. The action of killing Zod could be the catalyst for him swearing off the act of murder. It could be the formation of his no killing “rule”. Presenting us with a Superman this early in his superhero career will help to establish him as a more complete character. We could see him learn what it truly means to be a superhero, and see him become the “golden boy” that fans know him to be. It opens the door for growth and change in a previously dull as dishwater character.

To me, this is the film that finally made Superman interesting.

As for the level of destruction, it wasn’t Clark, not all of it anyway. Most of the destruction is a direct consequence of Zod’s actions, either from the terraforming machine, or him literally slamming Clark into buildings, it was all Zod. But that’s a whole different rant entirely.

I totally agree with the critics about the “Romance” though. As much as I love Amy Adams, it was too early for Lois to be romantically involved with Clark.

And by the way, Superman Returns wasn’t that bad either.

Dear “Nerds”

I get it, you saw a couple Harry Potter movies and liked them. You may have even read the books. But putting on a pair of glasses and posing for a twitpic does not make you “OMG such a nerd!”.

Call me when you know how many sickles make a galleon (17), or tell me your story about how people ostracized you for spending every lunch hour in the library reading comics and fantasy novels. Or tell me how many awkward silences you’ve faced after someone didn’t get your references.

Show me your leftover convention badges. Let me see the bad Dragonball Z fanart you drew in third grade. Send me your embarrassing fanfiction.

Do anything other than throwing on glasses and telling me that you’re a “geek”.

I know, I know, now it’s cool to be nerd. Doctor Who is one of the most popular shows on the planet, and comic book movies are turning into multi-million dollar franchises, but the nerds who created those things worked for that to happen. They’re the writers and the artists, they were told by hundreds of people throughout their lives that their work would never mean anything. They were the ones with intimate knowledge of their favorite worlds, they did the fanart, and their fanfiction turned into the real thing. They proved those hundreds of people wrong.

And all you did was put on a pair of glasses.

Why I hate New York City (and cities that might be better)

New York City, cultural center of America, home to Broadway, and setting of some of my favorite pieces of fiction; I hate it. 

Okay, hate is a strong word. But it’s mostly true, I hate New York. 

I hate the idea that it’s the most important city in the United States, and that it’s regularly called “The greatest city on Earth”. I hate the stuck up attitude that Broadway is the only “real” theatre hub. I hate the obnoxious people that are just part of the city’s “culture”. I hate “Noo Yawk” accents.

And now “hate” is starting to look like a nonsense word. But, again, it’s true, And I’ll tell you why.

There are a million cities in America, (I don’t know the exact number, don’t correct me) and the idea that just one is best is mind boggling. Every city in every state has different things to offer the world. They all have their own culture, and they all have merit. In fact, there might be some with “better” things to offer than New York.

Take my hometown, Sacramento, CA for instance. Here there are a ton of museums, 28 in Sacramento County, and many downtown. There are also several festivals and conventions held downtown year-round. Sacramento is a wealth of culture, and it’s sandwiched right in between Tahoe and San Francisco.

Now, this isn’t just an ad for Sacramento, There are a few other places I’d like to mention. 

I’ll start with Seattle, WA. Seattle is the birthplace of Starbucks, and home to the largest man made island in America, Harbor Island. It’s also home to the largest symphonic youth organization in the country. There are many museums in the area. Seattle is a hub of arts and culture. 

Next up is Houston, Texas. Houston is home to NASA, hence the expression “Houston, we have a problem.”. It also has an excellent theatre district, ranked second in the country (behind, of course, New York City). Its theatre culture is expansive, including Broadway productions and community theatre. Houston has a rich car culture, hosting an annual Art Car Parade, which displays uniquely modified vehicles as works of art. It also has a diverse music scene, with genres from Blues to Tejano. 

Finally, there’s Santa Fe, New Mexico. Santa Fe is home to over 200 art galleries. It also has a lively music culture, showcased by its annual chamber music festival. Along with an expansive cuisine scene, Santa Fe is home to a flourishing nightlife. There are many ways to enjoy Santa Fe’s diverse and rich culture. 

So, is New York really the cultural center of America? I think not. Maybe it’s time for fiction to expand its atlas and start seeing life outside of the five boroughs. America is more than the big apple.