Feminism and men’s rights

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I recently read an article which contained only one paragraph about feminism, yes only one. I’m not criticizing the article for that fact, because it wasn’t about feminists, but you wouldn’t know that from reading the comment section.

Yes, I know the old saying (well as old as it can be in this internet age) “Don’t read the comments” But on this particular website I always read the comments. Mostly because a lot of them, if not most, can be rather intelligent and funny. Of course if that was the case for this particular article, I wouldn’t be typing this right now.

Most of the comments were from angry MRAs (Men’s rights Activists). Now I  fully agree with a lot of the issues these men bring up. Mainly the way the family court system gives a lot of loving and good fathers the short end of the stick when it comes to custody. But this particular argument was about rape.

Rape, needless to say, is a very touchy subject. Men and women are both victims of rape, this is a fact I cannot deny. But I also cannot deny the fact that women are taught to actively avoid rape.

As a young teen, I sat in my middle school gym with my other female classmates, and we were taught ways to avoid rape. We were told to always travel in groups, to wear clothes that were harder to remove by force, and to not kick a man in the crotch (this would only anger him) but to go for the eyes. I think it’s safe to say that the boys were not taught this information. But they also aren’t taught healthy attitudes about sex.

In our society we teach men that sex is a prize to be won. That it’s something you can get out of a woman if you are nice enough to her or give her enough things. As a man, if you’re not having sex, you’re losing. What about that makes people think that men won’t use sex as a power play, or that some of them, if self deluded enough, won’t go after it at all costs?

How is putting sex on a pedestal for men any different than making it something to fear for women?

We teach our boys that no means no, while at the same time telling girls that being assertive isn’t “ladylike”. We teach men that skirts and dresses mean “easy access”, and encourage women to wear them, then scold those same women for wearing “skimpy” clothes after they are raped. We imply that all men think about is sex, and that they can’t control themselves around a skirt and a pair of long legs.

If you deny that this is true, then you didn’t grow up in the same society I did.

Because I grew up in a society which thinks that women are something to be objectified while simultaneously scolding women who are sexually open. A society which paints men with bulging muscles as the ideal, and covers its mouth in shock when athletes are discovered using steroids.

Yes there are “Faminazis” and misogynists out there. but yelling at them and not taking action doesn’t solve the problems that created them in the first place. It’s treating the symptom and not the disease. We need to address the problems themselves.

And yes, we need to prepare for the consequences, because the people who are deluded into believing that sexism isn’t a problem for both sexes and want the world to stay as it is will fight back. These people don’t want change, because they directly benefit from everything staying the same. The only way for anyone to change the world is to realize that sometimes, they want the same thing that their “opponents” do. They’re just not listening.


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