Back To The Drawing Board

I recently came into a lot of free time, which is a nice way of saying I got canned. The good news is, I have money in the bank (which is a phrase that makes me think of bad hip hop), The bad news is I have to start this whole begging for work thing over again.

So I’ll be standing on my corner of the internet (no, not for that, get your mind out of the gutter), like an old-timey newsboy, waving my resume to anyone who will read it, knowing most will take it and toss it in the garbage. But  have to keep optimistic about this whole thing, or then I’ll give away how unhappy I am at interviews and they’ll have yet another reason not to hire me, right along with “Too young”, “Too inexperienced”, “Too reserved”, and “Not what we’re looking for”. But, according to recent news, Millennials such as myself are doing a little better in the job market, so I’ll have to keep my fingers crossed.

I’ll also have to find a way not to take rejection so personally, even if, in it’s very nature, rejection is very, very personal. Nope, I’ll just have to grit my teeth, say “Thank, you for your consideration.” and hope the next thing pans out. And people wonder why I’m stressed.

Apparently, this is what your early twenties are supposed to be like. And I’m finding that, as I rapidly approach birthday number 24 still living at home and essentially leeching off my parents, I’m wishing more and more that this is just a movie and I can fast forward to the most successful part of my life. Yep that’s me, a (semi) grown woman, hoping to wake up one day with the career of my dreams, a thriving social life, and an ever expanding bank account.

But then I realize that usually, even in movies, most successful people have probably been in my position, unhappy with their current situation, wishing for simpler times, and not really seeing a way out of that mentality. But eventually, it gets better, through some combination of hard work and luck, things change. And you reach that point where you think “I did it, I’ve succeeded in being an adult”.

That is the feeling I’m working toward, that’s what keeps an optimistic view in my peripheral vision even if all I see in front of me is bitterness, it keeps me getting up in the morning and keeps me going through the day. And if I lose sight of that goal, I don’t know who I’d be.